here I am
sitting down by the window
no need to mention where
this is a state most of us know
my baby sits a few feet away, looking at me inquisitively
I have come to the realisation that in parenting (as in so many things in life) you just do the best you can
and that's ok
yeah, I've been living trying to be a perfectionist for too long
a perfection that was presented to me
that I tried to undo and remake in my image
but this world is running after sleek, marketable perfections that are not my game:
the "go for the high life" trend, run after the money, the perfect clothes, the designer lifestyle...
we shall all be made in the image of our capitalist god!
let's stop worrying about how great it's go to be will never be
(or it will cease to be part of you)

that's what humble is about (I think)
so many people out there, trying to make it somehow, but doing something
the struggling brains, the energy and ideas that are being used to fuel and then be recycled by the mass culture
for the very few who will make it
we might not all make it someday...
but we are making it and we will continue to make, to be, to think and to exchange


humble... true or false? why humble? humble?! those who want to flaunt their stuff in a magazine (hypocrite is not a pretty name)
yeah, but this world is a rotten apple... you have to look hard to find an appetizing piece
you start wherever you can, you try to motivate...
maybe I'm only an idiot who hopes to reverse the filth accumulation process
After all...I just read this:
"it's advisable to hate humility as much as innocence(...) The opposite of opportunism, lest we forget, is humility, in the sense of the biblical parable, in the meaning of renunciation. Art and politics will be Machiavellian and opportunistic in order to be sexy. Inevitably!"
I don't know why it hurts biblical! hard to swallow
I maintain that you can be both humble and opportunistic, a cynic and a dreamer, ironical yet simple and true
(the world is full of paradoxes and human nature is contradictory)
these days being (a little more) humble is nearly a revolutionary act
I am not afraid of consists, amongst other things, in acknowledging the existence of my ego
no need to convince them all too give up their deceitful existence and their illusive happiness I just want people to see things as they are and to show them something else than always the same glamourised crap...

(*)translated extract from Patrick Eudeline's,
"Van Gogh et Madonna: Vademecum", BIL BO K n15